All of You
by KristosLilly
Summary: Gwen tries to put the pain of her past behind her. Rafe is willing to help her do just that. A Gwen Hotchkiss/Rafe Hernandez crossover story.
1. Adore, Beautiful, Careless, Dad

**All of You**

_**A Days of Our Lives and Passions crossover "starring" Rafe Hernandez and Gwen Hotchkiss. Enjoy and please remember, feedback is love!**_

**A – Adore**

She had adored Ethan, she had loved him so much, and what had it ever gotten her but heartache and a dead baby girl? She had had lots of time in prison to realize that she had chased a dream, a fantasy, for years that wasn't even close to reality.

As soon as she got out of prison, she knew she was not going back to Harmony. She needed a fresh start more than anything. She pressed her finger down on a map randomly and peeled it away to see a little dot called Salem. She would go there. It would be the perfect place to blend in and start over.

xoxox

_Perfect place?_ She wondered as she sat in her hotel room for the second day and watched the snow coming down behind her windowpane. It was October. Since when did it snow anywhere in October?

She sighed and decided she needed a break from these four walls. She bundled into a thin jacket and walked outside the Salem Inn. The snow had stopped falling and just thick, white powder remained. She suddenly had the strongest urge to make a snow angel – something she hadn't done since she was a child and her parents would send her outdoors to get her out of their hair.

She slowly lowered herself to the ground and spread her arms and legs wide. Just then she felt rather than saw someone approaching. She was about to yell at them to watch out, let them know that there was someone here, but there was no time. He or she clearly wasn't paying attention because in the next moment they were tripping over Gwen's skinny foot and landing right on top of her.

"Owww!" They both growled out at the same time. Gwen to chew the guy out but one look at him and his chiseled, perfect features and big brown eyes made her unable to do it. Especially because he looked just like …

"Luis?" She asked.

* * *

**B – Beautiful**

"Luis?" She asked again. "What are you doing in Salem?"

Rafe narrowed his eyes at her. "My name's not Luis. It's Rafe. Rafe Hernandez."

"Okay… but you look just like this man I used to know. A man from another lifetime it seems."

"Were you two boyfriend and girlfriend or something?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Hardly. He could barely stand me most days I think. But you look so much like him …"

"Well I guess it's true what they say - we all have a lookalike in this world after all," Rafe said. "Is he at least handsome?"

"He's … beautiful," she said and blushed. "Now don't let that go to your head."

"Never," Rafe said facetiously.

"So… Do you mind getting off of me now?"

Rafe coughed and rolled off of her. He flopped onto the cold ground beside her and then jumped to his feet. "You never told me your name," he said.

"You never told me why you were running so fast, not looking where you were going."

"I was chasing a dream. All it is is a dream."

The blonde pulled herself up to a sitting position and looked at him with a little smirk on her face. "That's profound."

"Yeah I have my … profound moments," Rafe said. He stared at her and then offered her his hand to pull her up.

"No, thanks," she said. "I think I'll just make snow angels for a while."

"You're not going to tell me your name or why you're in Salem, are you?"

She shook her head as she spread her arms wide and dropped back into the snow. "Nope. I don't believe in telling stranger's personal information."

"I fell on you. We are not strangers anymore."

"Well when you put it that way …" She smirked and shook her head. "Nope, I think I prefer to keep you guessing."

He shook his head at her and then turned and walked off. He didn't realize it but he was still smiling.

* * *

**C – Careless**

"You were careless, Sami," Rafe reprimanded her. "I saw you with him - _again."_

"Rafe, please," Sami pleaded, "I love you. You know I do."

"Oh you have no idea what love is, Sami, and now I'm really done. Go back to EJ."

He then turned on his heel, regretting throwing a fit in front of everyone at The Brady Pub. But he didn't regret it when he accidentally slammed into the blonde he had literally fallen for a few days before.

"Hey, it's you," he said.

"Yeah, it's me," she agreed with a smile. "You and your girlfriend okay?"

"You heard that huh?"

"I think everyone did."

"Oh … Well actually she is my ex-wife."

"Ex huh?" The woman mused like she was tossing around an idea around in her mind but she held it back and just said, "Well it was nice seeing you again, Rafe. Thanks for not falling on me this time."

Rafe smirked in spite of himself. "You ever going to tell me your name?"

"Not today," she said and then scooted past him. He just shook his head and walked out of there before he could change his mind.

* * *

**D – Dad**

It had been a week since he had last seen her and he found that despite not knowing anything about her or even her name, that she was in his thoughts constantly. So he considered it fortunate when he spotted the beautiful blonde sitting on a bench in Salem Park one afternoon.

"Hey, you going to tell me your name now?" Rafe asked playfully. He thought they'd launch into another round of teasing and flirting but as she looked up at him, he saw pain in her big brown eyes.

He immediately dropped down onto the bench beside her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, feeling instinctively that he needed to reach out to her.

She sniffled and he was thankful she didn't try to say she was okay because he could clearly see she wasn't. "It's my father … He died three nights ago."

Rafe shifted on the bench. "I'm so sorry to hear that." He meant it too.

"Jonathan Hotchkiss was far from perfect but he was still my dad and I am going to miss him. My mom wants me to come home for the funeral but I don't know if I can… I would have to face my past and the things I did that were less than shall we say, savory."

"Look I don't know what you've been through or what you've done but you deserve the chance to say goodbye to your father. I am sure he loved you a lot."

"He did but he wanted a boy from the moment he learned my mom was expecting. However, for all his faults, he would do anything for me. I guess I owe him one so you are right, I have to go back to Harmony."

"I think you'll be glad you did. I never really got to say goodbye to my Pop and though things were far from perfect between us, I wish I had had the chance to wish his spirit well."

She looked up at him. Her tears had dried a bit. "Well I'd better go and book the flight."

"Okay, good luck," Rafe said. He watched her stand and turn to leave but then she looked back at him.

"Gwen," she said.

"Huh?"

"Gwen … That's my name… Gwen Hotchkiss."

And then she was gone, somehow taking a little piece of him with her. He didn't know if he would ever see her again but damned if he didn't want to.


	2. Endure

**E – Endure**

Following her father's funeral, Gwen opted to stay at the Harmony Cemetery and visit the grave of her little Sarah instead of being forced to endure an awkward wake.

She touched Sarah's headstone. This was all she had left of her baby. How she missed the little girl who had never so much as taken her first breath. How she missed her father Jonathan too, despite all their many differences. She had lost so much. Had it all been her fault as everyone said it was, or had fate – that damned word – just turned against her?

"I love you, Sarah, always," she whispered. She pressed a kiss into the palm of her gloved hand before pressing it to the chilled granite. "I hope wherever you are, you're wonderfully happy."

XoXoxoo

Gwen stayed at the cemetery for over two hours. When she returned to her father's house it was evening time and everyone was gone but her mother who was sidled up to the family's longtime lawyer Grayson.

"Are you sure, Grayson? Absolutely sure that my dear, sweet husband left nothing to me?" Rebecca asked as she touched Grayson's sloping shoulder, giving it a gentle massage. Gwen rolled her eyes and started in the opposite direction.

"I'm sure," she overheard Grayson say. "Your daughter inherited everything."

Gwen paused in her steps for a moment. Wait a moment there. Jonathan had actually left Gwen all of his assets? That made no sense. He hadn't once visited her while she was in prison. So why leave her so much as a penny?

She shook her head and slipped into the kitchen. Tons of food remained sitting out and she plucked a piece of Swiss cheese off of a silver tray. She wasn't very hungry but knew she had to eat sometime.

Gwen predicted that at any moment her mother was going to come running in there. Sure enough, not one minute later, Rebecca came skidding into the kitchen on her red high heels. No basic funeral-black for her.

"Gwennie!" Rebecca crowed. "You're never going to believe what Grayson told me!"

"Regal me, Mother," Gwen said sardonically.

Rebecca either ignored or failed to notice her sarcasm. She grabbed Gwen enthusiastically by her thin arms. "You inherited everything, Gwen! Absolutely everything that Jonathan ever owned or stole – the house, the cars, _the money._ Lots and lots of money! He accepted kickbacks you know, when he was in office, and he invested the inheritance that he squirreled away from me very well and –"

"I don't want it."

Rebecca peered at her closely. "Gwennie, did you just say-"

"You heard me. I don't want a penny of his money. You can have everything."

"Gwen, please be serious now. This is our ticket back into the world of the Harmony elite. We can use the money to somehow send Tacosita back to the barrio where she belongs. You can have Ethan back and –"

"Stop!"

"Gwen…"

"Stop it, I said," Gwen snapped, rubbing her forehead. "I don't want anything to do with any of that, Mother. Chasing Ethan and trying to best Theresa cost me everything and I'm just done with that life. If I wasn't sure about that before, sitting beside my daughter's grave drove the point right home. This place is bad for me and I'm bad for it."

"But, Gwen, it's your legacy."

"Well I reject that legacy. I am sorry if that hurts you but I'm not sticking around here a second longer than I have to."

"Where are you going to go – back to that Podunk little nowheresville town ... What was it called again?"

"Salem. And yes I am going back there."

"Why?"

"Because it's the perfect place to start over… And I sort of made a friend there."

"A male friend?" Rebecca's eyes twinkled. "Is he-?"

"He's not rich, Mother," Gwen said. "Not that I can tell anyway and even if he was, I'm not interested in him like that. It's just nice to have someone look at me and not see a monster."

"Does he know that you were in prison?"

Gwen shook her head. "No."

"And if he rejects you because of your shall we say, colorful history?"

"Then I'll move on. I'll be okay, Mom. No one can ever hurt me worse than I have myself. So please, take the cars, the jewels, the dresses, the money. It's all yours."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Rebecca touched her daughter's soft cheek. "I'm proud of you, Gwen. You've done the one thing I never have – had the courage to move on."

"You could come with me, you know."

"I'm not ready yet," Rebecca admitted. "Maybe someday, but not yet. But you go out there and be fabulous, alright?"

"Alright…"

"Oh and you must keep in touch. I want to know about any and all developments with your 'friend'."

"He really is just a friend. More like an acquaintance, actually."

"I never met a man who could resist our feminine charms."

"Mother..."

"Oh okay, never mind." Rebecca smiled. "I know I didn't say it much but I love you, Gwennie."

"I love you too, Mother. I do. Take care okay?"

"You too, Gwennie, you too."


	3. Friend

_**This is a short update but I hope you all like it anyway!**_

**F – Friend**

"Hey, look who's back in town," Rafe said, catching sight of her the moment that she walked into The Brady Pub.

"So I am," Gwen said.

Rafe stood and pulled out the chair opposite of him, gesturing for her to take a seat. She slipped into it and offered him a little smile. "How have you been?" He asked. "I mean, given the circumstances with-"

"My father dying?" Gwen said.

"Yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "You have my condolences… I lost my baby sister not too long ago and there are some days that she's all I can think about."

"Thanks," Gwen murmured. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment as she watched him return to his seat beside her. "But honestly, I am no stranger to being left behind." Sarah weighed heavily on her mind and heart today. So did Jonathan for that matter. She would probably never see him again. She missed them both. Her arms felt as empty as her heart.

Rafe studied the wary expression on her face. "I'm sorry."

So many people said that they were sorry the losses she had endure, but looking at Rafe, she actually_ believed_ him. "Thank you."

"Of course… So will you be sticking around Salem for awhile?"

"I think so. But I really need to find a job and fast."

"What kind of job are you looking for?"

"I don't know. I have a background in PR but it would be hard to get hired again, given my –"

"Given your what?"

She sighed. She decided to just get it all out there. If Rafe ran away screaming, then she would know exactly what kind of man he was. "I have a police record, Rafe."

Rafe looked at her earnestly. "Oh… Well, look, you don't have to explain anything to me."

"You don't look disgusted."

"That's because I'm _not_ disgusted. Everyone has a past, Gwen; everyone makes mistakes. If I've learned anything as a police officer-"

Gwen blinked. "You're an officer?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, this is ironic, to say the least. Here you are being so understanding... Don't you want to run to your cop database and look me up?"

"No because something tells me you aren't the same person who did … whatever you did."

"I don't actually know who I am anymore," Gwen admitted. "I used to think I knew but no, no, I don't."

"Well you have time to find out - lots of time," Rafe said gently. "Look, I know the owner of this little pub we're sitting in pretty well… If you wouldn't mind slinging clam chowder and hash… I'll vouch for you."

Gwen sighed. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Maybe I see a fellow lost soul and I want to help."

"So what - I'm a charity case now?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I just know what it's like to be down on your luck… I think you need a second chance. I also think you need a friend and I'd like to try to be one if you'll let me."

"I guess I _could_ use a second chance … and a friend."

Rafe smiled at her. "So should I put a bug in the owner's ear about getting you a job?"

"I'd appreciate that," Gwen said. "Thank you, Rafe."

"Anytime… Anytime…"


	4. Gift

**_**I got a chance to update this after who knows how long. Hope it's alright.**_**

* * *

**G - Gift**

"Hey, there's my favorite waitress," Rafe said as she walked into The Brady Pub several weeks later. He took a seat at the bar and offered her a smile. She smiled in return as she carefully delivered two heaping bowls of clam chowder to a couple canoodling in the back booth.

Gwen wiped her hands on her apron as she walked towards the bar. "Hi there," she said. "The same as always?"

"Yep, a bowl of Caroline's world-famous chowder and an Irish beer," Rafe said with a grin. She grabbed for a bottle of his favorite beer and screwed off the cap, setting it before him.

"Say, you're getting good at this."

Gwen chuckled. "Well, I haven't spilled anything on anyone yet tonight. That's a new record."

"You're getting better and better," Rafe said, tipping the bottle to his lips and taking a slow chug. "I knew you'd do well. Caroline really likes you, you know."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes. She told me that herself the last time I was in here." Rafe came in to the Pub to see her almost every night and she found that the nights that he didn't show up (usually due to work obligations), she actually missed him.

Gwen found herself smiling, pleased at hearing those words. It was nice to be liked. She hadn't been very well-liked in the past. Of course, she had done some horrible things and deserved not to be liked for them, but she didn't want to think about any of that tonight. Tonight was supposed to be about celebrating.

At that thought, Gwen reached underneath the counter and retrieved a small package wrapped in sky blue paper. She set it in front of Rafe.

He smiled. "Hey, what's this?" He put down his beer and reached for the little bundle.

"A little thank you gift," Gwen said. "I received my first paycheck yesterday and I knew that I wanted to do something for you. I am so grateful for this job, it's… a new start for me, I guess you'd say."

"This isn't necessary. I was just glad to be able to help."

"I know, but I want you to have it anyway," Gwen said. "Open, open."

"Okay, okay," Rafe said and slowly peeled back the paper on the item. He laughed when he held up the paper which was ensconced deep in a layer of tissue paper. "A certificate for The Beef Jerky of the Month Club. Why you shouldn't have."

Gwen chuckled softly. "I absolutely did not know what else to get you. High quality wristwatches cost more than I could ever afford now; you don't seem like a get-dressed-up-and-go-out sort of guy so a tie was out. A novelty mug that said 'Best Cop Ever' seemed quite gimmicky and I bet you have a dozen of them anyway."

Rafe puffed out his chest dramatically. "In fact, I do." He chuckled. "No, this is great. If there's one thing I love to do, it's eat."

"I've noticed that," she said. "That said, I better go get your standard heaping bowl of Caroline's chowder."

"Sure, but -" He reached out and grabbed her hand lightly as she was about to turn away. She looked down at his calloused fingers laced across hers and she froze for a second, not knowing how to react. She felt something in that moment for him - something far deeper than friendship and it scared the hell out of her.

"You okay?" Rafe asked, no doubt noticing her deer-in-the-headlights expression.

Gwen tried to shake it off. "Sure, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked, trying to sound flippant.

"You just … Never mind," he said and released his hold on her. She felt both relieved and disappointed all at the same time. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"It's just beef jerky," Gwen said.

"Well it means a lot that you thought of me," Rafe said. He offered her another adorable smile.

Gwen's knees quaked a bit, seeing that grin. "You're - you're welcome," she said. "Now about that clam chowder …" She said and raced off.

Once in the relative safety of kitchen, she let out a shaky breath, nearly collapsing against the wall behind her. Rafe was gorgeous and kind and all around wonderful, but she couldn't actually go and fall for him. She wouldn't _let_ herself. She'd only ever loved one man and look at how that had turned out. It had turned into a full-blown obsession that had cost her absolutely_everything._

She could never allow herself to fall for a man ever again, even one as wonderful as Rafe Hernandez seemed to be.


	5. Hesitancy

**H - Hesitancy**

The mood in the air had completely changed by the time Gwen returned from the kitchen. It had taken an inordinately long time to bring out his chowder - which of course, he didn't mind, but what he _did_ mind was the obvious chasm that suddenly lingered between them. She quickly and wordlessly deposited the bowl of chowder in front of him and then hurried off to attend to other customers.

When she did come by to check on him at one point, he sensed a decided hesitancy in her body language. He didn't know what had changed between them - or why - but he knew something certainly had shifted.

After he finished his meal and tipped her as generously as he could afford, he asked her if she wanted a ride back to her hotel.

Her eyes went wide at hearing his offer. "Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Well… I have a lot to clean up before I can leave and my shift doesn't end for another half an hour anyway so…"

"I can wait, Gwen. I can be a patient man...sometimes," he said offering her a smile. He hoped for a smile in return but one wasn't forthcoming.

"Rafe, I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Okay, did I do something? Say something? Not do something? Not say something?"

"What do you mean?" Her cheeks were flushed.

"Well frankly, you've been acting a little weird since you came back from the kitchen. I have to wonder what I did to upset you."

"I'm not upset."

"Try looking at me when you say that."

"What do you want from me, Rafe?"

"Your friendship. If I've jeopardized that for some reason … If I messed up, I need to know that."

Gwen sighed softly. "It's not you, Rafe. It's me."

"Oh I think I've heard this one before."

"No, I just realized it might not be a good idea for us to be friends."

Rafe stared at her. "You just realized that tonight, now? After you gave me a beef jerky subscription…"

"It's not a lifetime commitment, Rafe."

"No, but I like to think you did that because you wanted us to keep being friends."

"Maybe it was a parting gift…"

"You really want to end this thing between us?"

"That's the problem - this 'thing', whatever it is, it's dangerous," Gwen protested.

"You mean, you think I'm dangerous."

"Yes, okay, you are."

Rafe started to reach for her hand but second-guessed himself, sliding his fingers away. He didn't want to chase her away. "Why do I suddenly scare you?"

Gwen dropped her face into her hands for a long moment. "This is humiliating."

"Come on, Gwen. Level with me here."

Gwen looked up at him. Her eyes were filled with misery. "I could easily fall for you, Rafe, and that's a horrible idea."

Rafe didn't know how to answer that really. He liked Gwen too. It would be all too easy to fall for her in return.

"Horrible, huh?" Rafe said. "I mean, I know I'm not the best catch around but-"

"No, that's the problem. You _are._ Too much of a good catch. But if I stupidly went and fell for you, Rafe, I run the risk of ruining everything in my life. I lost everything and I mean _everything_the last time I let myself feel something for a man."

"And you think I'll destroy you?"

"Not on purpose."

This time Rafe did reach for her hand. She stared down at their intertwined fingers. "Don't be afraid of me okay? For now, we don't need to be anything more than friends."

"Did you just friend-zone me?" Gwen said in an ironic tone of voice.

"No. I like you too, Gwen, a lot actually. But I also think we both need time to get over our pasts before anything can or should happen."

"What if I can't help but fall for you?" Gwen said miserably. "What if I lose my head again?"

"Don't worry okay? I will be here for you, Gwen. I am not walking away from you, no matter what."

"I hate this. I never used to be this pathetic. I never used to second guess everything I did...I'm a mess."

"No, you're not. You're hurting. But just know that I'm not going anywhere. I mean that. I want you around. I've actually gotten really used to having you around. So be my friend for now, okay?"

Gwen sighed. "Okay."

"Don't run, Gwen."

She nodded. "I won't, but for now, I think it's best that we stick to public places. No car rides for two or intimate walks in the park in the moonlight or-"

"You think we can't control our baser instincts?" Rafe teased.

"No, I can't control my heart," Gwen said. "And no offense, but I really don't want to fall for you. I don't want to lose everything again. One only gets so many second chances."

"Well this is your second chance, Gwen, and I'll make sure you don't lose it. You deserve to be happy."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"You don't know what I've done."

"I don't care. I already said it - I don't believe you're the person anymore who did whatever it was that got you into prison."

"You really haven't looked up my police record?"

He shook his head. "No, and I won't. If you ever decide to tell me what happened, that's a different story, but just know I won't judge you no matter what you tell me."

"That means a lot, Rafe. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Gwen, you're welcome."

**_I am not sure how I feel about that one but there you go! lol_**


	6. Idea

_**This chapter is dedicated to my most faithful reviewer, RHatch89. Thanks for being so patient as I take my sweet time updating this. I promise the next chapter will be up soon though!**_

* * *

**I - Idea**

Rafe made it to The Brady Pub just as Gwen and Caroline were closing up for the night. He would have been there a lot sooner but it had been a wild day at the station.

He waved to both women as he walked inside the warm restaurant. There was a chill in the air outside tonight - November in the midwest, in all it's glory.

"Ladies," Rafe greeted them. "How's it going?"

Caroline smiled. "Rafe! Hello. It's going very well. As I keep telling you, Gwen is a dream employee and I'm lucky to have her. She runs things so well around here that I hardly have to lift a finger anymore."

A faint blush worked its way up Gwen's long, lithe neck. "Well, if that's true it's only because I have such a great boss. You're nothing like the tyrants I used to know." Her eyes took on a faraway look for a moment, as if she were remembering a past best forgotten, and then the look was quickly gone.

"Well, thank you. I take that as a compliment. This is a family establishment, Gwen, and I consider you to be family."

"Thank you," Gwen said, looking decidedly humbled and a touch emotional.

Caroline nodded. "Of course." She looked at Rafe. "Anyway, I saved a little chowder just for you. Why don't you pull up a seat at the bar and enjoy a hot meal on this very cold night?"

"If it's no trouble…"

"Of course it's no trouble, Rafe. Not for my favorite police officer."

"I won't tell your sons you said that," Rafe said.

Caroline smiled. "Oh they already know how much I adore you."

Rafe just smiled.

"I'll go get the chowder," Gwen offered.

"No, it's alright. I will," Caroline said. She held up a hand before Gwen could protest. "You've been on your feet since seven this morning - well over twelve hours. You just relax."

"That's not what you pay me for."

"You relax," Caroline said again.

"Don't argue with her, Gwen," Rafe said with a grin. "You'll never win against that stubborn Irish pride."

Caroline laughed bawdily and Rafe knew that he hadn't offended her. She was a sweetheart like that. "Rafe's right."

"How often do I hear that?" Rafe faux-gloated.

Gwen and Caroline laughed and then Caroline made herself scarce. Rafe walked over to the bar and pulled out a stool for Gwen. She eyed it for a moment and then sunk down onto it with a soft sigh and a smile.

"I bet it feels good to rest your feet after all of that standing," Rafe said.

"It does," Gwen admitted. "I took waitresses for granted for so many years. I just saw them as well… servants, I guess. I never understood how hard they worked until I became one myself."

"You're doing a great job. Caroline thinks you hung the moon."

"Well, she's impossibly kind."

"I think you're pretty great too."

Gwen flushed red this time. "Rafe…"

"Sorry, sorry. I will never compliment you again," he teased.

She just laughed. "Anyway, how is work for you?"

"Busy, busy. Never a dull moment, not even in this one horse town." He looked at her earnestly. "Speaking of work though..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I had an idea. Feel free to say 'no'. I promise not to be upset or-"

"Rafe, what is it?" Gwen asked.

"Well, the annual policeman's ball is next week. I'm actually - " he rubbed the back of his neck, feeling oddly, a little sheepish - "receiving an award; a commendation really."

"Oh, Rafe, that's wonderful. You definitely deserve it."

"Thanks. Anyway ..." He dragged his hands discreetly down the sides of his jeans. His palms felt sweaty and clammy and he felt like an idiot, just as if he were a teenage boy asking a girl out for the very first time.

"Anyway…."

"Our illustrious Mayor Carver has strongly recommended that we bring someone along to the event."

"You mean like, as a date?" Gwen's face was a little paler now.

"It doesn't have to be a date," Rafe quickly said. He knew that Gwen really was trying very hard to stick to their friends only rule, to protect her heart and to protect him, in some odd way. "It can just be two people; two friends, dressing up and hanging out in a very public place, just having a fun time. These two people could absolutely travel in different cars and not be alone for a second or-"

Gwen held up a hand to stop him. "Wait, Rafe… Are you asking me to the ball?"

"Yes, in a very, awkward, round-about sort of way," Rafe said. "Truth is, I really do want you to come but if you're not comfortable with that -"

"I am a little _too_ comfortable with the idea," Gwen admitted, worrying her plump bottom lip between her teeth. He noticed that it was a new habit she had picked up recently. "I'd like to go…"

"So go," Caroline spoke up, appearing in the doorway.

Rafe and Gwen stared at her and burst out laughing. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Caroline said. "Honestly."

"I believe you," Rafe said.

Gwen just smirked. Caroline deposited the steaming bowl of chowder before Rafe. "You should go, Gwen, and have a good time. In fact, I am giving you the whole night off."

"But you don't even know which night-"

"No matter. You won't be coming in here that night," Caroline said. "Remember what Rafe said - you won't win a battle with me."

"No, I suppose I won't," Gwen said. Her lips twitched in a new smile and she turned to look at Rafe. "So it seems that you and I are going to a ball."

Rafe grinned widely. "Sure seems that way." He then discreetly gave Caroline a thumbs up. He hadn't planned any of this, but somehow it had worked in his favor. He was feeling pretty darn good right now.


	7. Jittery

**J - Jittery**

The moment she walked into the ballroom, everyone else around him ceased to exist. Her soft, crystalline eyes found his and they smiled at each other. His heart was suddenly hammering so hard in his chest that he could hardly catch his breath. She was dressed in a long, ankle-sweeping, filmy pink dress, with her white-blonde hair pulled back in a sophisticated chignon. She looked like more than just a million bucks.

As he moved towards her, as if in slow motion, he heard someone let out a hoot of surprise from his periphery. _"__I can't believe Hernandez snagged a total babe like that! Will wonders never cease?"_

Gwen met him halfway across the ballroom and he couldn't resist blurting out, "You're a vision."

She looked surprised by his words somehow; decidedly humbled too. A little blush tinged her pretty cheeks. "You clean up pretty nicely yourself," she said, gesturing to his starched, pressed gray uniform.

"Oh, this old thing?" He joked. He brushed the long sleeve with all of its buttons and badges attached to it.

"You _do_ look handsome, Rafe," Gwen said. She looked around the room then. "I didn't realize quite how many officers there would be here tonight." She looked immediately less at ease, a little jittery even.

He wanted to soothe her worries so he quickly said, "Don't worry. They're just here to have a good time like the two of us."

"I just hope none of them remember seeing my mugshot in the newspapers," she murmured. "I don't want to ruin your big night by causing some kind of scene."

He gingerly reached out to touch her arm which felt smooth and soft under his fingertips. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, you can only _improve_ this night."

Gwen smiled, looking a tad more relaxed now. "Thanks for saying that because there is nowhere I'd rather be tonight than here to see you accept your award."

"Nowhere? Not even The Pub slinging chowder and chili?"

She chuckled. "Not even there." She peered over his shoulder. "Don't look now but a couple is approaching us at five o'clock."

Rafe turned to look. Hope and Roman were walking over to them. "Oh, they're not a couple," he said quietly. "Just a brother-and-sister-in-law duo who happen to work together."

"Oh, that makes sense. They're not really exuding a romantic vibe."

Rafe wondered if he and Gwen exuded that vibe but quickly chased the thought away.

Roman clapped him on the shoulder. "Looking sharp tonight, Rafe," he said.

Rafe laughed. "I tried."

Hope smiled at Gwen and offered her her hand. "Hello, I'm Hope Brady. You must be Gwen."

Gwen froze for a moment. "Wait. How did you know who I am?" She asked in a slightly shaky voice.

"Oh Rafe's mentioned you," Hope said quickly.

Gwen sighed softly, as in relief. "Has he now?"

"Truthfully, he won't stop talking about you," Roman piped up and Rafe could have slugged him and might have if he wasn't his superior officer. Instead he settled for giving him the side eye.

"Just telling the truth," Roman said, holding up his hands in defense. "But Gwen, it's finally nice to put a name with a face."

"It's nice to meet you too," she said. "And you as well, Hope."

Hope nodded. "Anyway, we were just making the rounds. Have a great night, you two." She forcefully tugged Roman away.

Rafe sighed. "Don't mind Roman. I think he visited the open bar tonight way too many times."

"So then you don't talk about me a lot to your colleagues?"

Rafe swallowed hard. "I plead the fifth."

Gwen just chuckled softly.

Rafe looked around at all of the couples on the dance floor. "Do you want to -" He gestured to the waltzing pairs. "I have two left feet and will probably step on your toes but if you'd like to dance…."

"I think I'd like that," Gwen said.

"Good, me too." Rafe held out his hand to her and she gingerly slipped her fingers into his. His palms heated up instantly at her touch.

They moved into the center of the throng of dancers. Gwen reached up to place her hands on his broad shoulders and he slid his hands down to cup her tiny waist. Soon they began to move in time and he didn't step on her toes quite as many times as he had anticipated. In fact, they were sort of graceful together, like they were meant to dance with one another and no one else.

They may have danced for five minutes or twenty. He wasn't sure. The time seemed to fade away with Gwen in his arms. They only broke apart when Abe announced that it was award time.

XoXoXo

Rafe gave the short speech he had prepared before receiving his pin and plaque. His words were followed by a crescendo of applause and hoots and hollers. Gwen was at the center of it all, lightly clapping her hands together and smiling.

Rafe wanted to hurry to her but Hope caught up to him as he was heading off stage. She drew him back aways so that they could talk without interrupting the rest of the ceremony.

"Congratulations on your commendation," Hope said. "Bo actually… He received that award…twice, in fact." Her eyes looked a little dewy at the mention of her long-MIA husband.

"Bo's a great cop. I feel honored to share this one award with him but will have to work twice as hard now to catch up to his legacy."

Hope shook her head. "You're a fine officer. Bo is … Well, he's a wonderful upholder of the law too. He really believes in what he does - protecting people, finding truth and justice…"

Rafe nodded. "Yes, he does."

"But somehow, it became all he was about and has been all he's been about for the longest time. It's actually consumed him. He's right now so deep undercover that he won't or can't come home until his mission is complete… He's been gone for nearly two years ... What I'm trying to say and badly mangling is that… There's more to life than this job. Important as it is, it's not the only thing out there for you of meaning. Don't let it completely consume you until you ignore what's right in front of you. Or should I say _who_ is right in front of you."

"You mean Gwen."

"Yes."

"She only wants to be friends. She was burned badly before and -"

"But, Rafe, she looks at you the way Bo used to look at me. It's love, whether she or you realizes it yet. Don't let it get away. This is a second chance for both of you."

"I don't want to be pushy with her."

"Don't be, but don't shy away from the way you feel either. Just be the gentle and protective person I know you always are, and she'll come to trust in her feelings for you."

"Hope, what brought this all up?" Rafe asked gently.

"Thinking of Bo tonight, I suppose. He should have been here. I feel like we've lost so much time together as a couple and as a family with the kids, and I don't want you to ever be in the same position. As corny as it sounds, don't make love wait."

Rafe smiled and offered her a generous hug. "Thank you for saying all of this."

"Did it help at all?"

"Yes, definitely." He smiled at her. "I believe Bo will be back someday, maybe someday soon."

"I hope so," she answered. She squeezed his shoulder and then let him pass by.

Rafe walked off the stage to find Gwen waiting for him. She was smiling. "Your speech was great," she said.

"Mesmerizing, huh?" Rafe joked. "Two thumbs up, right?"

Gwen chuckled. "Way, way up."

Rafe laughed and then sobered somewhat as he stared into Gwen's beautiful eyes. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

"In this chilly weather?" She asked.

"Well, we could do a few laps around the lobby… I'd just really like to talk to you."

Gwen nibbled her bottom lip in that new, noticeable way of hers. "Alright. Yes," she agreed.

Rafe offered her his arm and she slowly sidled up next to him. They walked out of the ballroom, together.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

**I hope that didn't suck lol**

**Next up is K for Kiss! Oooh la la!**


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